Breast Cancer Alliance

What was the hardest part of your breast cancer journey—and how did you overcome it?
For me, the hardest part of my cancer has been in survivorship. I’m not sure I’ll ever "overcome" it. Hitting five years cancer-free this October was intense—full of fear and joy and maybe a little disbelief, all at the same time. For anyone not familiar, five years is a big deal in breast cancer remission (the risk of recurrence is greatly reduced and some doctors even use the word "cured"). It's the number that feels like it will never come back, that you’ve somehow made it, and also like at any moment anything could happen. The things that help me get re-grounded in my reality are the simple, obvious ones, but they work. Meditation, being in nature, spending time with my kids—basically anything that requires presence. Because when we’re in the now, there’s no space for fear.

What was the hardest part of your breast cancer journey—and how did you overcome it?
Going through it as a parent and a wife. I powered and bulldozed through all of the chemotherapy, surgeries and tests. Once I got into the routine, I knew how to handle it. But nothing prepares you for how it will affect your family. My daughter was three years old at the time and, as anyone who is a parent knows, it’s hard and takes a village to raise a child. Fortunately, we had an incredible network of family and friends who lent a helping hand with meals, play dates and babysitting.

Knowing what you know now, what's one piece of advice you would tell yourself at the start?
Book something special for yourself at the end of your journey—whether that’s a trip, an incredible meal or a shopping spree, whatever your heart’s desire. Give yourself something luxurious to look forward to. After every grueling chemo session, inevitably I’d feel horrible and think, “When is this going to end?” But then I would say, “You got this, X more sessions to go” after each one to keep myself going, knowing there was an end in sight, and I was inching closer to a massage…

What was the hardest part of your breast cancer journey—and how did you overcome it?
As a person who always sees the glass as half full, the hardest part of my breast cancer journey was to remain positive during the uncertain times. I ultimately made the decision that, until someone definitively told me otherwise, I was going to go about life as if all was going to be okay and attempted to eliminate any negative thoughts about the future.

Knowing what you know now, what's one piece of advice you would tell yourself at the start?
Hopefully I never have to go through this again, but if I had to do it again, I would do it exactly what I did the first time—find a doctor that you are comfortable with and who is experienced with patients similar to you and stay away from Google. After picking my surgeon, Dr. Elisa Port from Mount Sinai, I never Googled anything breast cancer-related again. I simply chose to trust the process. My thought was “What am I possibly going to find on the internet that a world-renowned breast surgeon doesn’t already know?” I truthfully never researched the survival rates, statistics associated with male breast cancer, never saw the images of the male breast post-mastectomy, etc. I trusted Dr. Port and knew I was in the most capable hands, so research would only add stress to my life.