#MAKEITHAPPEN

"I pretty much made every mistake,” dating expert Lindsey Metselaar of her pre-marriage love life. “But I learned so much that I now get to share with my listeners.”

Metselaar's listeners are those who tune into “We Met At Acme,” her hit podcast centered around navigating the tricky terrain of courtship in the dating-app-age. It has over 3 million downloads to date.

It all started when Metselaar was in a dating slump of her own. After being dumped by an ex-boyfriend on her birthday, Metselaar recorded a candid conversation with a close guy friend about life, love and relationships. That conversation spawned many more, with Metselaar inviting authors and intimacy experts on to discuss “what we don’t talk about, but all want to know about.”  

Below, we break down everything you want to know about—from Metselaar’s date-night picks to her dating do’s and don’ts.

What are your biggest dos and don’ts for first dates?
Don't accept a same-day date! You're a busy person and you have sh*t to do! Three days in advance or bust!

Do ask different questions than the basics. You want it to feel as little like a job interview (and as much like a date) as possible.

Don't have more than two drinks! It can muddy the waters on if you actually like them or if it's the alcohol talking.

Do show up in a good mood! Your energy is contagious and your attitude sets the tone for the date! 

Don't ask them what they are looking for! Most men don't know until they find it.

Do offer to pay! You should never assume that they're going to pay, even though they should. 

Don't text thank you after the date! You thanked them on the date, there's no reason to thank them again. Plus, it interrupts their thought process if they would text you on their own.

I know you’re now married but what were your favorite and least favorite parts of dating?
My favorite part of dating was being able to form connections with so many different people. I also happen to love flirting and banter, whereas some find it tedious and annoying. My least favorite part of dating was getting rejected, obviously. But I have to say rejection builds character! And evidently a podcast! 

How do you think the dating scene is different for millennials than other generations?
Millennials are the first generation where dating apps are more than 50% of the way people meet. Cultivating our online presence is just as important as our in real life presence, and that can be daunting. We are very oversaturated, and sometimes have too many options that it makes it harder for us to stick with one. A lot of millennials believe the grass is always greener, but I always say it's actually greener where we water it.

 What are your top 5 date night spots / activities in NYC?
1. I recently went to Shot of Art—a paintball studio in NYC—and loved it. Such a good date night activity! Totally takes you out of your comfort zone and I love competition-based flirting.

2. Dinner at the Comedy Cellar. A comedy show is the perfect date because there’s less pressure on you both to entertain one another and you quickly find out if you have the same sense of humor.

3. Sake Decibel. One of the best speakeasy date spots in NYC. You really can't go wrong here.

4. The Marlton Hotel. I find hotels to be so romantic! They have a fireplace, and yummy bites too.

5. I just went to see "Speakeasy Magic" at the McKittrick hotel and it was amazing. A fun interactive date night for sure.